Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I'm a Really Big Nerd

My Christmas present finally came: The Oxford English Dictionary, the compact edition, and it is BEAUTIFUL. 500,000 words and their first documented uses! Chronological changes that the words have undergone! A heavy round magnifying glass that you have to use to even see the words! It is generally 20 volumes but the compact version has 9 pages micrographically reproduced onto each page. Katherine told me that it is one of the sexiest things she has ever seen. I've never really been in love before until this last Saturday when I finally held it in my arms. I know that we will never be apart again.

One of the best things about the whole situation was that in getting the dictionary, I realized that I was a very big nerd, and while I always knew that I was from a family full of nerds, I didn't realize the full extent of that until now. Here is the evidence:

1. When I first asked for the dictionary there was a lot of excitement. My father immediately started looking up information and came across a book about the history of the OED. My mother purchased that as a gift for both me and my father. When my sister found out about it she immediately told me that Rory on the Gilmore Girls once got the dictionary as a gift. One of my friends mentioned to her parents that she might want the OED as a gift and her parents laughed at her.
2. My father held out for about a week until he had to go out and buy his own. He got the shorter edition, however, and while he brags that it came with a CD that gives him easy electronic access, I know that mine is about a million times cooler.
3. After picking up the dictionary at my parents home in West Jordan I planned to go used book shopping in Salt Lake with a friend. As I was about to leave my mother warned "You'd better keep it in the trunk while you are parked. You wouldn't want somebody to break in and steal it." While my mother has been terrified by the possibility of gang violence in Salt Lake, she never once told me that they were out stealing dictionaries. What is the world coming to? Unfortunately, I don't think that the criminal masses comprehend the worth of the dictionary. Too bad for them.

While my family is a bunch of nerds I am glad that I had them. More than once I have had friends tell me that they are jealous of my upbringing. So while the fact remains that there is a whole lot to make fun of, it would be a whole lot worse to live in a family that wouldn't give you an Oxford English Dictionary for Christmas.


Mom said...

Matt, you are a smart aleck as well as a nerd!

Stephanie Jensen said...

I don't even need the magnifying glass to read it. That's how cool I am.

Christa said...

This made me laugh out loud. For that, I salute you.
And I'm not gonna lie... with a 1920s flapper in your family tree, I'm freaking jealous of your upbringing too!

TeamCarter said...

It has to be. And I am thrilled.

Kristen said...

Dinger! Fabulous post. I remember the days as an English major sifting through that beloved book of knowledge.
And I'm happy Candice found you so now I can blogstalk you.

Melanie said...

Goob!!! I haven't checked your blog in awhile, and now today I find a post from clear back in January. I've been missing out. You are hilarious, as always.

Love, your nerdly sister

Raechel Logan said...

So... I guess I just found out that I am a huge nerd too... because I am freakin JEALOUS of you right now!

Yanira said...

Matt, it is time to update your blog.