Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Trouble with Dating in the 21st Century

I teach an introductory writing class at the local university. My students tend to love me because I am awesome. Also because I am fairly close to my students’ ages so they tend to relate to me better than some of their other professors. I keep in contact with some of my former students and yesterday my favorite former student called me for some advice.

He has been dating this girl for a month or two and until recently thought that they were dating exclusively. He was set up with this girl through a mutual friend. Apparently the girl is about 6 years older than him (cougars are so hot right now), has an advanced degree, is beautiful, and is generally a very cool person. Sounds perfect right?

Earlier this week the aforementioned mutual friend let slip that he knows how their relationship is going because he reads the girl’s blog. At this point he realized that he had made a huge mistake. He tried to play it off but my former student pushed him and discovered all the gory details.

Here is the point at which real life becomes the plot to a romantic comedy. Girlfriend’s blog has quite a large following and chronicles the details of her romantic escapades with multiple men. All of the details: conversations, attractiveness ratings, likes, dislikes, you name it.

My former student claims that he doesn’t care about the blog or that she is pursuing other men (they never agreed to be exclusive). He asked me to read the blog and let him know if I think he is going to get burned in the end. I am not going to link to the blog on here, in an effort to protect the privacy of the parties involved (read: I don’t want her to find out and him to get pissed at me), but I am curious about what others might think about the whole situation. Feel free to discuss.


Melanie said...

I was hoping you'd put a link... but I'm not surprised you didn't. What a great story!!! I hope you do a follow-up post about what happens next.

My favorite two quotes from your post: "cougars are so hot right now" and "because I'm awesome."

EJ said...

I love how you said that your students tend to love you because you are awesome.

Now about your completely depends on what she said about him in her blog, especially in comparison to the other boys she is dating. If she really likes him, thinks he's a cool person, etc. and he isn't in a huge hurry to get married, then I say keep dating her, especially because she sounds interesting. If she makes fun of him in any way on the blog or he just doesn't compare to the other guys, then he should dump her hardcore in a really cool way so she's sure to blog about it.

mom said...

I know I'm old and nearly senile, and totally don't know what's what in the world, but I say dump her immediately. She is obviously using him for source material for her blog. Each of the guys she is "dating" is probably different enough that she can get different, and therefore entertaining, material from each for what she writes. There are so many cute/nice/spiritual/smart/etc. girls at BYU that he shouldn't waste his time on someone who isn't concerned about how these guys would feel if they read her blog.

mom said...

And what kind of friend would set you up with a girl he knows would make you, everything you do, and everything you say part of her blog for all the world to read.

Dinger said...

Atleast the girl has something interesting to post. I feel that most of my blog entries deal with poop or the next surgery coming up. I say give her a chance. Girls love to talk about their social life. . .blogs are a fun way to do that. Atleast this guy knows where he stands. I wish Dan had a blog so I could actually understand what goes on in his head half of the time.

Matt, you are awesome! I'm glad your students think so too!

Tara said...

Dump her. Any girl who thinks its acceptable to use her dates and suitors as fodder for a World Wide INTERWeb audience is a tool. Its one thing to blog about a date now and again, but based on your description it sounds like the blog is ALL about her dating life.

I say again, "TOOL." Dump her.

Anonymous said...

Hmm that's quiet interessting but frankly i have a hard time visualizing it... wonder how others think about this..

Maren said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I had stopped checking this blog every day because.. you had written for like three years!
I just about had a heart attack when I saw fresh entries on here.

In my opinion, I feel like all the little details of a relationship should be private. And even though this lady doesn't share that opinion, I think she should have at least told the guy about the blog. It kind of stinks he had to learn about it through a friend. I say he should find someone who acts a little more mature (especially when this girl is supposed to be 6 years older with an advanced degree!)

Robbie said...

Woah! I checked your blog on a whim, and you've basically doubled your blog entries. I'm glad you're back!

Mostly because I want to hear the stories, I say he keep dating her and keep tabs on the blog without telling her he knows. Think of all the fun experiments he could do to see what shows up on her blog! If too much shows up though, I don't know if I'd want to be dating someone that divulged everything to the world.

Also, it sounds like he really likes her and would like to date her exclusively. If all that's missing is some commitment from her, then why not be upfront about what he's looking for and give her a chance to commit or not. If she gets wish washy at all, I'd say move on.

Anonymous said...

A few thoughts:

Cougars are hot right now, but anyone who is just six years older than your student probably doesn't qualify as a cougar. (Which brings up a debate that Paige and I have had recently. What exactly is the definition of a cougar? Paige says it is a woman over 40 dating and/or chasing after younger men. I think it is just a hot older woman about 40 years old or older. Does she have to be chasing a younger man to be a cougar, or can a married woman be a cougar? I think a hot older woman who is completely faithful to her husband can still be a cougar. The main qualifications are just older and hot.)

As to my lovely wife Paige's comment (who, by the way, is a cougar in the making--she just isn't old enough yet) about not knowing what is going on in my head half the time, I can tell everyone that generally nothing is going on in my head. It is empty and boring.

As for the student's situation, my only comment is that I am very very very glad that I am no longer part of the dating scene and no longer have to deal with the headaches that come along with being single and dating. Being married is much much easier. So I guess my advice is either marry the girl or marry someone else.


Elisa said...

Oh my gosh, you should do a follow-up post about this now that things have developed (and your student has you to thank for it).